Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.