When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Smoking in the shower.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.