Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Think about breathing...

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.