Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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listen to madonnas new album

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.