I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.