think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.