When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Sitting down in the shower

i masturbate with my feet

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.