when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.