when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.