masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.