Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I wonder if elections are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

thumb_up thumb_down -52

fap

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -110

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

thumb_up thumb_down +23

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down +7

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.