Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.