Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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humiliating little girls

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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listen to madonnas new album

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.