While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.