While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.