When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Tear up when I poop

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.