I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I **** with no hands.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I was the real Stig...

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I have a phobia of incest

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.