I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.