Tear up when I poop

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.