I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I never feel bored

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.