fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.