after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I **** with no hands.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.