i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.