- Things You Think Only You Do

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

Tear up when I poop

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.