doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Courtesy flush.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I piss in the bed every night

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.