I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.