if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.