I scratch and sniff.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.