I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.