eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.