I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.