When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -79

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down

Sleep with pillow between legs

thumb_up thumb_down

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.