When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.