like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.