I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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k. everyone

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make south park refferences every day

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.