You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Tear up when I poop

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.