Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sitting down in the shower

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.