Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.