Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I was not born in the country I am living in now

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down +45

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +25

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +3

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down -3

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.