Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

I **** with no hands.

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.