While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.