When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I have a phobia of incest

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.