I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.