While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Sitting down in the shower

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.