When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Mayada stupid

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.