stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.