sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Make up a song to yourself.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.