Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I cant ride a bike

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.