Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

i masturbate with my feet

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

I sleep in my underpants every single night

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

I hold my breath in elevators

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.