read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Smoking in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.