Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.