have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.