thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

Thinking your life is a movie...

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Run faster down hotel corridors.

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.