I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.