After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I **** with no hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.