Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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only read the short jokes on this website

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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fap

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Picking my nose.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.