Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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fap

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.