I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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sing like a pro in da shower

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.