Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Do somthing only you do

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.