Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.