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Clarksonisms
Passed Out Photos
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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.
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-52
When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public
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-56
When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.
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-60
watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"
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-64
You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends
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-76
I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.
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-82
that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain
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-86
worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.
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-94
if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol
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-96
I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.
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-106
Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .
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-114
While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.
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+27
Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.
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+13
I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.
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+11
When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.
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+9
I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''
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+5
When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.
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+1
Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.
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-1
Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp
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-1
If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.
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-3
A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.
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-3
thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me
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-5
I hold my breath in elevators
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-25
When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.
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-27
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.