I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.