I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.