When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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blink

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.