masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.