....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -89

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

thumb_up thumb_down -99

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Try stick to something but fail in the end

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

blink

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.