You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

i masturbate with my feet

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.