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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.
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-22
I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.
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-24
Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.
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-34
Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now
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-36
Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you
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-36
Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio
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-40
Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.
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-42
While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.
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-46
Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.
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-52
Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.
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-58
expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.
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-62
when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?
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-66
I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim
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-72
When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror
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-78
I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.
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-80
Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.
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-86
Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.
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-126
Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.
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+61
Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.
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+37
I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?
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+11
I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.
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+9
get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.
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+3
At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.
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-1
I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)
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-3
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.