I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.