- Things You Think Only You Do

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

only read the short jokes on this website

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

I have autofocus in my eyes.

i masturbate with my feet

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.