check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.