send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Tear up when I poop

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.