turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.