Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.