- Things You Think Only You Do

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

I never feel bored

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

blink

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.