Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I never feel bored

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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humiliating little girls

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.