I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Do somthing only you do

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.