I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Feels my beard with my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

blink

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.