Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Being fat

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.