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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.
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-59
Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.
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-61
after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half
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-65
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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-67
Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.
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-77
Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.
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-83
Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.
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-85
When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning
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-95
You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.
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-97
Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.
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-125
The older I get the more honest I get
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+56
Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.
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+54
Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...
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+42
Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.
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+38
Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.
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+30
Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.
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+22
Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.
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+20
Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"
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+18
Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.
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+4
get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.
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+4
Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.
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-2
turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.
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-2
You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.
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-6
Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.
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-8
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.