Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Mayada stupid

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I scratch and sniff.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.