realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.