as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I chew my ice cream.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.