My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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blink

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.