strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I don't read the terms of service.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.