When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.