Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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only read the short jokes on this website

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.