Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Only use the left earphone.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Sitting down in the shower

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.