Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Tear up when I poop

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I never feel bored

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.