Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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i masturbate with my feet

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.