Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.