When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.