When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I never feel bored

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.