Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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humiliating little girls

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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listen to madonnas new album

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.