Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.