When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.