- Things You Think Only You Do

Look at my poop before flushing

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

I don't read the terms of service.

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.