wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.