When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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blink

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.