Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Be a loner at school

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.