When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.