When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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i masturbate with my feet

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Being fat

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.