- Things You Think Only You Do

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

Look at my poop before flushing

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.