having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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listen to madonnas new album

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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blink

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Smoking in the shower.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.