Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I have walked into a sliding glass door

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I hate being called "buddy".

thumb_up thumb_down -47

It's hot but I still have on covers

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -89

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down +24

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

blink

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.