I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do somthing only you do

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.