I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.