Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.