Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Be a loner at school

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.