Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.