only read the short jokes on this website

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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fap

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Being fat

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Sitting down in the shower

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.