- Things You Think Only You Do

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Smoking in the shower.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.