I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -69

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -79

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -89

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

thumb_up thumb_down +6

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I chew my ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.