Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.