Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.