I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Being fat

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.