only read the short jokes on this website

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.