Smoking in the shower.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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make south park refferences every day

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.