Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.