I lift my butt when I'm farting

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Picking my nose.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.