At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.