I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

I chew my ice cream.

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

I hit the frig after sex

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.