Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.