- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Courtesy flush.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Sitting down in the shower

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.