- Things You Think Only You Do

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.