Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Ur mum

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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fap

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Sitting down in the shower

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.