When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.