Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.