- Things You Think Only You Do

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

only read the short jokes on this website

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

I rehearse arguments in my head.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.