- Things You Think Only You Do

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I was the real Stig...

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.