I hold my breath in elevators

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

only read the short jokes on this website

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.