Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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make south park refferences every day

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I **** with no hands.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have a phobia of incest

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Mayada stupid

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.