Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.