Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.