Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.