When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.