- Things You Think Only You Do

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Only use the left earphone.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.