I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Sitting down in the shower

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.