eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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fap

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.