Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.