after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Sitting down in the shower

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Being fat

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.