poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I was the real Stig...

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.