I talk to inanimate objects daily.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Picking my nose.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

i masturbate with my feet

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.