Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I was the real Stig...

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.