- Things You Think Only You Do

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Smoking in the shower.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

fap

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.