Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Sitting down in the shower

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.