Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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i masturbate with my feet

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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make south park refferences every day

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have a phobia of incest

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Mayada stupid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.