Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

I scratch and sniff.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

I mean Diana Ross.

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.