Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.