- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

Only use the left earphone.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.