Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.