Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Do somthing only you do

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.