Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Do somthing only you do

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.