Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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fap

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Picking my nose.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.