I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I **** with no hands.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.