When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.