Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I was the real Stig...

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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I push the door open with my stomach

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.