Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.