Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Being fat

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.