click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.