When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.