Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Smoking in the shower.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Ur mum

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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fap

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.