Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Sitting down in the shower

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.