Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Sitting down in the shower

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.