try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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i masturbate with my feet

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I **** with no hands.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I was the real Stig...

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.