- Things You Think Only You Do

I was the real Stig...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

I push the door open with my stomach

I used to eat bath bubbles

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.