Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Courtesy flush.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Sitting down in the shower

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I have a phobia of incest

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.