everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Think about breathing...

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Being fat

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

I have autofocus in my eyes.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Put my hands together the 'other' way

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

Go for a 10 mile run.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.