when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

I wonder if elections are rigged?

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

I hold my breath in elevators

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

only read the short jokes on this website

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.