after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I Masturbate Daily.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.