Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.