in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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I cant ride a bike

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.