everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Think about breathing...

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Being fat

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.