start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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make south park refferences every day

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I **** with no hands.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.