- Things You Think Only You Do

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

I don't read the terms of service.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

I Masturbate Daily.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.