I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Smoking in the shower.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.