When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Only use the left earphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

thumb_up thumb_down -59

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -61

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -65

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.