I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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i masturbate with my feet

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.