the power to regenerate your appendix

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I cant ride a bike

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Smoking in the shower.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.