- Things You Think Only You Do

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.