That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.