When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.