sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

thumb_up thumb_down -37

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I lift my butt when I'm farting

thumb_up thumb_down -41

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -41

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.