- Things You Think Only You Do

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.