- Things You Think Only You Do

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

k. everyone

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.