Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.