Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.