When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.