cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -29

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

thumb_up thumb_down -43

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.