Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.