- Things You Think Only You Do

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.