When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.