Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I **** with no hands.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.