- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes I toot.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

I don't read the terms of service.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.