Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -115

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

thumb_up thumb_down

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

thumb_up thumb_down

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.