I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.