DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
Passed Out Photos
Pointless Inventions
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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.
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-68
I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.
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-74
Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum
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-76
check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S
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-76
Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o
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-78
Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.
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-78
I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...
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-78
Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)
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-80
When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.
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-82
When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"
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-84
I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons
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-86
scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good
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-88
Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.
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-88
Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.
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-100
I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.
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-108
Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.
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-120
Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.
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-128
Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"
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-134
Make up a song to yourself.
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-158
The older I get the more honest I get
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+63
Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.
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+35
masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"
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+27
I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche
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+11
When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.
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+7
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.