Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.