when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Smoking in the shower.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.