When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.