- Things You Think Only You Do

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

k. everyone

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

i masturbate with my feet

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.