I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I cant ride a bike

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.