Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.