when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

only read the short jokes on this website

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Smoking in the shower.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.