Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I read the down voted posts

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

thumb_up thumb_down -46

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.