We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.