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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

I gotta get down of Friday

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.