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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I gotta get down of Friday

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.