fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -43

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -51

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

thumb_up thumb_down -51

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.