judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

I think Frozen is an overrated film

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.