If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

I hit the frig after sex

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.