Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.