Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Smoking in the shower.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.