Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

I don't read the terms of service.

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.