Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.