Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.