When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

try to give your friends spirit animals

Thinking your life is a movie...

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.