I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -64

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -108

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +39

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.