Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.