I Masturbate Daily.

i masturbate with my feet

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

I gotta get down of Friday

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.