get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.