Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Tear up when I poop

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.