When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I hit the frig after sex

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.