You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.