I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Being fat

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.