After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.