Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

Smoking in the shower.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I lift my butt when I'm farting

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

i masturbate with my feet

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.