- Things You Think Only You Do

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

I don't read the terms of service.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

the power to regenerate your appendix

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I lift my butt when I'm farting

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

test how many stares you can scale in one step

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.