Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Smoking in the shower.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.