Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.