stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.