Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Tear up when I poop

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.