Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Tear up when I poop

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.