Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Being fat

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I gotta get down of Friday

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.