Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I Masturbate Daily.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Being fat

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

I gotta get down of Friday

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.