i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Make up a song to yourself.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

Use my phone to see what time it is

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.