Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.