browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.