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Car Failures
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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.
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-2
try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.
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-2
When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.
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-6
Save more than once on your favourite game.
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-6
I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.
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-6
I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!
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-8
when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.
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-8
Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away
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-8
Sometimes I toot.
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-10
Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.
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-12
Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back
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-12
When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.
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-12
I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.
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-14
Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.
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-14
after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line
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-14
When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck
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-18
Rub a pen tip between my fingers.
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-18
I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look
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-18
I randomly hold my boobs in my room.
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-20
shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.
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-20
I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.
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-20
Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.
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-20
after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth
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-22
There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.
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-22
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.