If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I hit the frig after sex

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.