turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Tear up when I poop

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.