I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.