trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

k. everyone

Being fat

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Go for a 10 mile run.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.