as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.