Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.