Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.