I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I mean Diana Ross.

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.