I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Boinked my neighbor

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Being fat

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.