Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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check shower for murder then pee

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.