When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.