When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Look at my poop before flushing

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.